I wish I knew how to fully express how I am feeling right now. I guess... depressed, frustrated, angry, sad, impassioned, motivated, and overwhelmed might begin to cover it. Tonight I met with some of the folks I'm going to New Orleans with to watch "When the Levees Broke" by Spike Lee. I know some of the people that will read this have seen this film and will understand why I am so moved. If you haven't seen it, I highly suggest you do. I also suggest you maybe don't watch it all at once like we did tonight, it was a bit much.
I fully expected to cry my way through the film, but I actually didn't. I don't know if it was because it was all so horrible and gut-wrenching that you just couldn't feel it all- as some sort of self-preservation. Or maybe seeing all the images and hearing all the stories, I just started to get desensitized. Don't get me wrong, I certainly felt it, but I'm someone that can cry for a sappy commercial, so I expected to be a mess watching this film. I did get teary eyed a few times, but I remained more composed that I expected.
Maybe I didn't cry because I got so pissed. What the hell are we doing spending billions in Iraq and not helping our own citizens? My god, what is wrong with our government?! Why didn't Bush go down there immediately? Why didn't FEMA and others get aid (water, food, etc) to the survivors immediately? Why mark a house saying it has been checked, when clearly it hadn't? Why build levees that don't work? Then when they break, do a crappy job fixing them so we could be facing this same disaster in a few years.... What the f*&k???
I was glued to the TV when everything started with Katrina because I have always, and will always, loved New Orleans. I cried for the city, the culture, and all of the citizens. But it wasn't until tonight that I knew the extent of how much the area was abandoned and ignored after tragedy struck. It makes me so angry and sad.
I guess the best I can do is take comfort in those of us that are doing something to help. I feel more inspired than ever before to go down and give my time and energy to the cause. To all those that are going with me, and those that have gone down before, bless you for doing your part to help! And to those that can't make the trip, but give financially to people like me so we can make the trip, bless you also for doing your part! What we are all doing will make a difference!